KODY’S CONFESSIONS

Kody Malouf
Editor

The tour season is almost over and I have to get something off my chest,
…I told tourists that eagles eat cats and dogs on a daily basis…
…after the Grand Princess hit a whale, I said a dead humpback washed up on the beach at my house, and my brothers and I swam out and jumped on it like a trampoline…(they loved that one)…
…someone asked me if we had a McDonalds, I said, “yeah, and it holds the world record for the most opening day sales”…
…on our way through Bear Valley, I said bears live in people’s backyards and some even take cubs and raise them as pets…
I’ve honestly told these lies so much that I can’t even remember if they actually happened or not
…people are always amazed at the amount of fish in Ketchikan Creek, wait till they find out we run across their backs when the stream gets full…
…someone wanted to know about sharks here, so I said that salmon shark are all over the place here and attack swimmers and boaters all the time…
…fishing is always a topic of conversation, the biggest halibut I’ve caught was 800lbs, oh yeah and I had to shoot it with a shotgun…
…well this one time I was fishing and a deer swam in front of my boat, so we drove over to it and hauled it on deck by its antlers, best fishing trip ever…
…speaking of deer, my dad shoots them out of his bedroom window when they walk down my driveway…(don’t worry it’s legal)…
…no but really, in the winter I take my dogsled to school…
…also did you know that 75% of the town lives on a boat?…(if you don’t like the neighborhood, you can just move)…
…this one time my dad’s diving partner got laid on by a grey whale while he was diving…(oh wait that one actually happened)…

 

 

 

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