Opinion: From Benchwarmer to Dodgezilla

Illustration by:  Zoe Spencer

Verona Kamberi
Editor in Chief

New Verona: Oh it’s just sweat I’ll wipe it off when I get done with PE.
Old Verona: Girl I’m allergic to sweating! That’s why I don’t do PE.
New Verona: Well gosh Verona are you just going to spend your whole life not working out?
Old Verona: I’ll only take PE when it’s a requirement and that’s it, I don’t want to waste a class period exercising, remember I’m focused on the important classes.
New Verona: Let me tell you about what I’ve experienced in PE class so far.
Old Verona: Like that’s going to make me see PE any different.. go ahead.
New Verona: When in your life do you get a chance to hit another student without getting in trouble?
Old Verona: Never… how would you feel if you got hit?
New Verona: Well my friend listen up, if somebody comes at you with a dodgeball you have to go all out like Gordon in the movie Dodgeball. Dodgeball is an intense game and sometimes I wish that I had a football hat to protect my head from all the head shots.
Old Verona: Alright alright I suppose, but aren’t you terrified of getting injured?
New Verona: Oh girl you have no idea, let me tell you, when a football player throws a ball you better run for your life unless you want a bloody nose.
Old Verona: Bloody nose… no thank you I’ve been elbowed once before not trying to relive that moment again (laughs).
New Verona: You know that feeling you get when you score higher than your classmates on a test… well you get that same feeling when you score a point for your team. Trust me sometimes I want to lowkey break into my happy dance, but you know at the same time I gotta act all tough (laughs).
Old Verona: Got to admit doing better than your friends on a test sets the bar really high for the level of excitement, but I’ll take your word about the whole game thing.
New Verona: Listen if you’re still worried about ruining your hair or having sweat overtake the smell of your $120 Coco Chanel Perfume, don’t be, just put the hairspray and perfume in your bag and you’re good to go (winks).
Old Verona: Won’t promise you anything my friend, but who knows maybe in a couple of years I’ll give PE a try.
New Verona: Marvelous, okay better go to gym class don’t want to lose my 5 points, oh btw it’s Friday dodgeball how perfect (laughs).

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