What did Ketchikanites do to deserve last March? Mother Nature decided to drop the atomic snow bomb on K-town for no apparent reason.
I moved back here March 24 as Ketchikan was digging out of the latest blizzard and thought, “perfect, this is exactly what spring is supposed to look like”.
March is supposed to be the beginning of longer days, warmer weather, and more happiness in general. Thanks to the ice-age last March brought, most spring sports were postponed and everyone totaled their cars, so it’s appropriate that people are a little bit worried about what the weather will do this year. Who knows, will everyone get buried alive again or will spring decide to make an appearance this year?
“I think that the Great Raven was mad at the sin and vice that Ketchikanites took part in last year, so I’d say last March was well deserved all around,” said senior Luke Reynolds. “I think that myself and a few other upstanding citizens have earned an excellent spring, but I am a little worried because we’re being teased – we’ve seen a lot of nice weather and not a lot of increase in temperature.”
March 2017’s everyday forecast went back and forth between rain and snow, but since the temperatures were consistently in the high 30s, the snow froze and covered the town in lovely brownish-white towers, and we can almost feel their ghosts haunting us to this day.
Weather Underground reported that 11.74 inches of snow fell at the airport in Ketchikan, but we all know the truth. Half an episode of Shameless after the roads were cleared, there was already another inch of accumulation.
But maybe global warming will kick in and this year will be different. Kayhi’s in-house philosopher, Mike Rath, said that he is optimistic about this year’s weather.
“I think last year’s weather was a direct response to Mr. Marshall feeling pensive and melancholy,” said Rath. “I know that he’s a little bit happier now cause now he gets naptime and a burrito in the afternoon, so I’m expecting that the weather will be quite pleasant this spring.”
Punxsutawney Phil might’ve seen his shadow this year, but the people at Kayhi forecast all sun from here on out…unless it snows.